The Power of Forgiveness

Introduction

Have you ever hurt someone and wished to be forgiven? Do you spend time thinking about how someone has wronged you? How do you forgive? People throughout history have wrestled with similar questions. With forgiveness teachings, Jesus and Christianity have changed the world.

When the Apostle Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” (Matt 18:21,22).

Jesus was not instructing Peter to forgive someone 490 times and then stop. Rather, the numbers Jesus used represented infinity. We must forgive completely and infinitely.

Definition of Forgiveness?

To “forgive” means “to stop feeling resentment toward; to pardon”.  Synonym Finder, “harbor no grudge, bear no malice, make peace.”

When we forgive, we are being “merciful, compassionate, and humane. We are:

• letting go of any grudges;
• removing focus from past mistakes or problems;
• dissolving any anger that we’ve been harboring;
• being peacemakers.

Advantages of Forgiveness

• We gain a more positive view of ourselves and others that is free of resentment.
• We begin the healing process.
• We are happier now that we are no longer angry.
• We can move forward with a greater sense of liberty.
• We give others the opportunity to grow and change.

What If We Don’t Seem to Be Able or Willing to Forgive?

How important is our own happiness? Forgiveness is essential for maintaining joy. Recognizing whether or not someone intended to hurt us is frequently beneficial. The simplest way to find out and avoid mentally replaying hurtful conversations and actions is to simply ask. If the person did not do us wrong on purpose – which is usually the case – and we have been thinking negatively about the person, we can let go of grudges or hurt feelings more easily.

What If We Believe We Have A Right to Be Angry at Someone for Doing Something Unforgivable?

There are some ACTIONS that we should never forgive. And we must all accept responsibility for our actions. But, in order to move forward, we must separate the action from the individual and forgive the INDIVIDUAL, who is a child of God, just like us. If we are having difficulty letting go of resentment, we must first consider ourselves. We must ask ourselves:

• What does un-forgiveness does to me?
• Who am I really hurting if I hold on to the grudge?

What Happens When We Refuse to Forgive or to Ask for Forgiveness?

We are causing more harm to ourselves than to others. We’ve allowed the other person to win! We’ve given that person the authority to ruin our day, week, or life. Except for us, no one has that kind of power. We become bitter, unhappy, angry, tense, and frustrated when we relive the pain and remember the wrongs done to us. And if we have hurt someone, we frequently hold on to the guilt we feel. Our feelings are all bottled up inside of us. We frequently vent our frustrations on those we care about. They certainly do not merit our rage. So what about those we hold responsible for our suffering? Blaming others for how we feel and focusing on getting back at others takes time and happiness away from us. Revenge and blame worsen issues. They certainly do not resolve them. Jesus said to us:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matt 5:38,39)

So How Do We Turn the Other Cheek? How Do We Forgive?

The answer is simple: we love.

• Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Mark 12:31) is one of the two greatest commandments that Jesus gave us.
• Now while the answer is simple, loving someone who we think has made us miserable may be difficult. But it is necessary if we want to be free of pain and gain a sense of peace. Loving doesn’t require becoming best friends with one another, just that we see the other as God’s child.
• We might want to start by loving ourselves. Is there anything in ourselves that we have to forgive?
• We have to forgive ourselves just as much as we need to forgive others if we want to move toward resolution, healing, and transformation.

What Happens If We Seek Forgiveness from Someone and He or She Refuses?

You can be confident in knowing that you have done your best. You have acted with humility and grace. Those who refuse to forgive will have to deal with their own anger, which will hurt them, as we’ve already discussed. According to the Bible’s story of Jacob and Esau, Jacob had some wrestling to do before his nature was transformed. He had to reconsider his perceptions of himself and his brother. He had to accept responsibility for his actions, forgive himself, and face his fears.

I expected to be as enraged as Esau when he discovered Jacob had stolen his blessing. However, we never get to hear his side of the story. Rather than focusing on Esau, the story reveals Jacob’s transformation (Genesis 32: 24-30). The same power that changed Jacob also changed Esau. Despite the fact that there is no mention of Esau saying, “I came to myself and realized I was overacting,” we know he forgave Jacob. When the two brothers met, there was complete reconciliation and dissolution of their hatred (Genesis 33:1-12). I’m impressed by the second chance that God always gives us when we recognize our mistakes and are willing to turn away from them as Jacob did. The end result of such forgiveness has to be transformation. In movie terms, there has to be a happy ending.

And what is the happy ending?

If we can love ourselves enough to let go of any anger we harbor, we will be able to forgive ourselves and others.

Such liberty allows us to experience greater and more lasting happiness.

Forgiveness enables us to see ourselves and others as created in the image of God.

Just as Jacob saw Esau, we can see ourselves and others as God’s children and tell those who have wronged us, “When I saw your face, it was as if God was smiling on me” (The Message Genesis 33:10).

A Quick Bible Study on Forgiveness

1. We have been forgiven (Colossians 2:13-15).
2. Forgive because you’ve been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
3. Forgiveness restores broken relationships (Genesis 50:17).
4. Forgiveness is a path to love (Luke 7:47).
5. Forgiveness precedes healing (Luke 5:17-26).
6. God tells us to forgive instead of seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (Leviticus 19:18).